We were visiting the hospital and we walked by Human Resources Department. O asked, "Is that were they keep the body parts"?

My little one gets off the bus, tears in eyes, "My girlfriend broke up with me", starts crying as I comfort him, I inquire, "What happened?" He replies, "She wants to go out with Justin Beiber, sniff sniff". Now I have to hold back a laugh. I comfort him some more then find out the real reason he's upset is he doesn't know how to go about getting another girlfriend. Couple of weeks later news hits that Justin is seen kissing Selena Gomez. Suddenly my Kindergartener has a girlfriend again. What the...

In church, the priest asks the ccd students, "Who knows the song Amazing Grace?". E, not yet in CCD but eager to answer, raises his hand ready to hum the theme song to "The Amazing Race".

Got a great homemade Valentine from my 5 year old. Hearts, flowers and lots of X and O's. I explained to him that X is for kiss and O is for hug and he smiled and contemplated for a moment. Then he burst out, "That means tic tac toe is a game of LOOOVEEE!". That is right little guy.

So my 11 year asks for a bottle of water and I know darn well he has one already open somewhere in the house. Angrily I get a water out of the fridge, hand it to him and warn him, "If you don't drink this whole thing I'm going to stick it up your..." Then I collect myself and give him angry eyes instead of finishing my sentence. Then my 4 year old jumps in, "butt, actually ass... but not my ass, his ass," he says pointing at his brother. Ok, so I'm not going to get mother of the year.

E says, "Chicks like flowers". On further examination I realized he was talking of chickens and flower seeds.

Driving home from preschool yesterday we saw a cable van pass by. E said "Look, the Comcast truck, he comes from On Demand."

So we are at the campground and a portly gentleman gets out of the driver's side of the RV in front of us and E exclaims sort of loudly, "They let the big guy out". Horrified that the guy heard I explained to E we don't talk about the way people look and some things are better of unsaid, blah, blah, blah... A moment passed and E was still staring at the rv with a puzzled look. I got up from my seat and I realized that he was talking about a giant inflatable Frankenstein way off in the distance right behind the heavy set guy. I felt like such a ding dong.

My kids thought it would be hilarious to hire Gordon Ramsey's son to stand in the kitchen at their school and berate the lunch ladies. "I said more cheese on the bleeping bleep macaroni, you donkey?" Can you picture it?

Mom says, "Eeeee it's time to get to sleeeeep". E replies, "Noooo, I'm full of going to bed".

Parenthood hurts. My 4 year old was blowing on a dandelion with his eyes closed. "Make a wish", I said. What does he say, "I wish I had a new mommy".

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Dad says, "Look a car just like mommies". E says, "It's ok that they dressed it in white today, it can wear silver tomorrow".

This New England spring and summer has undoubtedly been a rainy one. E was watching the news one morning with me while gazing out the window. In a mad and disappointed tone he exclaimed, "Oh great, the weather watched the news and now it's going to rain!"

E announced he'll be getting a motorcycle and his motorcycle will have training wheels.

E was petting the dog when he says, "Mommy, tomorrow I'm going to wake up and be a black dog so I can lick my penis." He's three and already thinking like a guy.

We were driving to day care and E saw one of the elderly/handicap vans with the big tall roofs. He said, "Look Mom, it's the alien truck". "Huh", I responded. "You know the van for aliens", he exclaimed. So now I'm wondering does he mean extra terrestrials or illegals and then I'm wondering why I'm even pondering that. Geez, I haven't even had my coffee...then I'm explaining the whole handicap wheelchair access thing to a three year old and I'm realizing that I sound like a total jackass.

I think at the early age of almost 3 E is already a pessimist. Most kids would gaze out at newly fallen snow with awe and delight. E simply says, "where all the grass go?"

It's been a long time since I've updated my blog. Not much mention of three (the 3rd child) poor three...he's 18 mos...maybe it's because he doesn't have a whole lot to say yet. He says "thank you" alot. He's redudant, but polite. Technorati Profile

O was coming out of swimming lessons and there is a church across the street. Well, the giant cross on the front lawn was on display for Easter with a white shroud hanging around it blowing in the wind. O says " LOOK, Jesus got off his leash!" Dad, A and I had a good laugh. The day after he decided to share the story with his teacher and the class, ugghh...the stories she must hear...

Dad says, "Let's get grinders." Mom says "I like their Italian's", O says, "You mean you're gonna' grind Italians???"

Each year we visit Aunt D's house after the big parade in town. This year as we were leaving the parade, O announced, "it's so great that Auntie has this parade every year"...

O went to look for cereal when only finding a little box of Corn Flakes he proceeded to ask if we had any Frost...... I guess he really likes Frosted Flakes!!!!!!!

O will be fun at frat parties...while watching A practice in front of the soccer mom's he put a dollar bill to his nipple...Why you ask? Because, he stated loudly, "it was time for old George to have his breast milk." Where does he come up with this stuff? I was once again mortified. While out to dinner with the family he also told the waitress while pointing to E, "I'll have milk and he'll have breast milk" Good to see he's looking out for his brother (and George).

While at the market with A. I put some fresh fruit in the carriage where you usually sit an infant. A's pipes up "Gross, do you know how many Butts have been sitting there?"

Dad says jokingly "O your 5 today, get yourself a beer"... O replies, "no thanks I'm driving".

We were in the car talking about the new baby...Dad called the baby "it", since we don't know the sex yet. O pipes up, "it's not an it...it's a shit!" Funny moment.

A, always so literal, reads a sign at a farm that says "electric fence in use, Coyotes keep away.", he also notices that it's just a small rope that is separating us from the electric fence... he turns to me and says "Mom, coyote's can't read and they are pretty short, I'm sure they could climb under that rope"... Wow, he's too much...

We use peapod now. Awesome service, though A named the driver "dixie queen", since one day he delivered dixie cups for the kids. Now O yells it out the window when he arrives, he (and all the neighbors) must think we are all insane...

A catches his first fish at a catch and release pond, not by reeling it in but by flinging the pole back behind him. Naturally, fish goes flying in the dirt with a giant thud, flopping around. So I lecture him about respect and being gentle. Blah, blah, blah. So when he tells the tale of his first catch he tells everyone shaking his head, "I caught a fish and didn't respect it..."

A lost his first baby tooth bottom front right...ohhhh my...didn't really enjoy pulling that out. He asked Dad and I the other night after an unsuccessful extraction..., "if I put my whole head under the pillow, will the tooth fairy come?

Daddy, as a joke, says he's going to "catch the Easter Bunny and cook him for dinner and eat him". O says, "you can't eat man, don't you know it's just a man in a bunny costume". Can't get much by him.

I gave O a quarter and asked him what he wanted to buy with it...he said he wants to buy bigger lips so he can give me a giant kiss...I love being a Mom